Also xdebug.start_with_request=trigger is more appropriate as running the step debugger even when it is not activated in the IDE will generate warnings.
In summary, what seems to work consistently is if I change the php.ini.hbs file inside of ~/Library/Application Support/Local Beta/lightning-services/php-8.0.0+1/conf/php.ini.hbs to contain the following.
xdebug.mode=debug
xdebug.client_port=9003
xdebug.start_with_request=trigger
xdebug.discover_client_host=yes
xdebug.client_port is an integer per https://xdebug.org/docs/all_settings#client_port
Looks like a great opportunity to test the lightning services updater 
If you want the debugger always active as you have with xdebug.start_with_request=yes you should add xdebug.log_level=0 to eliminate the errors that show in the log as if the debugger in the IDE isn’t running.